Kids, Don't Lie!
Lesson number one for our children: don’t lie. And what are we doing? We lie to our children. We probably don't event know it, but we do. These kinds of lies:
When the ice cream truck plays music, it means they're out of ice cream.
My mom told me there was a little man who lived in the frigde that would turn the light on for you. I believed her and I was terrified of that little man.
If I swallowed my gum I would fart bubbles.
When I was young, my mom said if I peed in the shower, pee would come out of the shower nozzle.
My parents told me about Santa and how he'll eat me for Christmas if I wasn't a good child.
I told my daughter a fart is poop yelling to get out.
My mom told my sister when she was little that she would blow up after eating too much. My sister started telling everyone goodbye before every meal.
My mom said that if I didn't sleep by 10PM, God would abduct me and carry me to the moon. I believed her for longer than I care to admit.
If you pee in the pool, the water would turn red.
If you don't finish your dinner, Buzz Lightyear will die.
My dad told me that guacamole was made of chopped up lizzards... Now I can only eat quacamole I have prepared myself or have seen being prepared.
As a little girl my parents and grandparents used to say that if I didn't my sandwich crusts I would grow hair on my chest. I ate ever single crust.
My mom potty trained me by saying that kids in diapers weren't allowed in Disney World. I was potty trained in less than a week.
My mom told me that if I swallowed the watermelon seeds, a watermelon would grow inside me. Seriously how scary is that?
My mother referred to beer as 'mommy soda'. She is an alcoholic.
